This is my diary at this point - I was just thinking about being early/being late, how we show up, the social construct around this - how I've learned to show up early or on time depending on the situations and making that badass than to show up fashionable late. But, when it comes to going home, for so long I've just busted me ass out of spaces to catch that last 1:15 AM bus on time or to catch the bus right before it at 12:15 or whatever - all while not realizing that busting out of spaces without a goodbye is fcking rude lmao this is laughable and really embarassing. How have I just made that normal, no goodbye just "shit im gonna miss the next bus" and stumbling my way home smh. This is specifically for large group settings. Weird how 1 I'm rude without knowing, and 2 why I make time and show up early for others, but for myself, when I want to leave I just leave no room to get home soundly and calmly AND all at the same time confusing those that invited me/brought me in that space like poof gone no longer there lmao. Learning new things everyday interacting with ppl. Thank you.